To my housemates: NEVER, EVER EAT THE PLUMS WHICH I WAS SAVING IN THE ICEBOX FOR BREAKFAST OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. I BET THEY WERE SO SWEET AND SO COLD. AND DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY WHEELBARROW.

— David J. Loehr (@dloehr) July 23, 2018